Episode #53 How To Talk To Yourself - Caroline Flanagan

Episode #53 How To Talk To Yourself

“You are SUCH an idiot! How could you have been so STUPID? What is WRONG with you???”

Most of you wouldn’t dream of talking to someone you loved in such a critical, judgemental undermining way. So why direct this type of judgment and criticism at yourself?

This week I’m discussing self-talk – the words, tone, language and messaging you send to yourself each day. It shows up in many ways – from the random thoughts that crop up in your head in response to an event or circumstance; to the incessant background chatter that plays over in your mind like a Spotify song on repeat.

Your self-talk is extremely powerful. It can either work for you or against you. My message to you this week is that your self-talk is 100% up to you: whether you are your own worst critic or your biggest champion – you get to choose.


  • how self-talk works like the soundtrack to your life
  • the no. 1 mistake you may be making with your own self-talk
  • the self-talk opportunity you are probably overlooking


  • 8 tips to making your self-talk work for you
  • how to apply a zero-tolerance policy to damaging self-talk

Mentioned in this episode:

Brene Brown’s TED Talk on Vulnerability

Great soundtracks:


  • The Greatest Showman
  • The Intouchables

Seriously sinister soundtrack

  • The Outsider

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I am more than happy to share wonderful feedback about you. Working with you has been life changing and continues to inspire me and help me grow.

Coaching client, Director, PwC Legal

Caroline came to speak to our Balance Employee Network about “How to babyproof your career so you can balance your life”. I really enjoyed preparing this event together. Caroline took great care in understanding the needs of the audience to make her message even more powerful. The whole process from preparing the event invitation to getting feedback was very professional with a wonderful personal touch.

Louise Walewska, Presentation Client, HSBC Asset Management

When I came into the office the following Monday, I could see the effect that you’d had. People were visibly changed as a result of your talk.

Oli Holmes, Accenture

Caroline did a fantastic job as the guest speaker at our latest Women with Ambition networking event: 'How to ensure kids don’t derail your career'. Caroline’s talk was engaging and insightful and feedback from our clients that attended was overwhelmingly positive. All of the delegates mentioned they had gained some sound advice from Caroline’s presentation, regardless of whether they were thinking about having children, were already parents or were managing individuals with family commitments. Caroline has been a pleasure to work with and I look forward to continuing to develop our working relationship in the future. I would highly recommend working with her.

Sally Clare, Head of Diversity, Ambition UK

I wanted to let you know that I have been promoted to counsel. Thanks very much to your coaching I have managed to get through one of the most challenging years of my career and managed to achieve what I had hoped to! I might not have made it were it not for your advice and guidance.

Client C, Solicitor

Caroline, I can’t thank you enough for the help you gave me while starting to think of family planning. Your level-headed approach to some of the things I was panicking about has put everything into perspective. Not to mention that talking through and planning how to run my company single-handedly with a child was invaluable. I really appreciate having the after-session documents to work through in my own time and have been referring to them frequently. I cannot recommend a Babyproof Your Life session highly enough when starting to think about children – everyone should do this! Many thanks again.

Client T, UK, Babyproof Client